I’m Into My Self

Maybe it’s where I live (the USA’s South), but there is something of a shame game going on here toward being fond of what you got. Not what you own (this is a personality blog, after all), but the gifts /talents / benefits of your personality and its accompanying perspective.

So many people agree that it’s important to “be yourself”. However, some of these same people let themselves get involved in competitive behavior, such as who can get the most attention in a conversation. That kind of behavior is in direct conflict with the stated goal of being true to oneself.

When I dance from the soul, can I not love the way I dance? When I have original thoughts, can I not be a little smitten with myself because of my love of said thoughts? I pose these ideas as questions, but I don’t need answers to tell me it’s healthy. It is. And the fact that some people maintain that permission is necessary, some green light before they go, are only robbing themselves. Sad.

Moving on, you need to be your #1 fan. There is a surplus of people in this world who don’t understand you, wouldn’t recommend you, and generally dislike you. If the ship went down, and there was only one more spot on the raft, haters would grab the hand of a stranger and let you drown. So don’t waste any more time from your life on them, except to get them out of your life.

There may be psychological reasons for how you are, environmental reasons, astrological reasons, etc. Most important is that you think and feel freely.

Which Voice in the Dark is Mine?

I had a stressful week at work, and just didn’t have the time and energy to write a post, at least not at the kind of quality I expect of myself.

The other disappointment is that I am so strapped on time/energy, that reading about the topic of personality is a challenge. I was posting every day, and although it was all based on internet sources, it was something to point you, the reader, towards in the hope of facilitating a deeper exploration.

In stressful times, I talk to myself in my head, give myself directions, sometimes scold myself for being foolish. It feels like it’s coming from the front half of my brain.

When life is calmer, perhaps when I’m still but not too tired, I’ll “hear” a voice say something very brief, in one or two words. Sometimes it’s just my first name (this occasionally happens when I’m dozing off in the day, when I have things to do), as if a gentle reminder to wake me back up. Usually that voice is a woman’s, spoken in a motherly way. Fairy godmother? This voice sounds around late-twenties or early-thirties, and she sounds like she’d be attractive. I’ll wake up for that.

Other times it’s my voice (coming from the back of my head), or a man’s voice with a somewhat deeper, older, richer tone. A little spooky. I don’t know what any of this means, but I’d love to find out.

Where does this phenomena intersect with personality? If people were more open and honest, we could start this a little better. But when you say “I hear voices”, people get a bit concerned about you, or back away out of concern for themselves, even if they themselves have the same thing going on. But that’s average people, not psychologists or other health professionals.

My guess would be that personality in this case is better revealed through what the voice or voices are saying. Without getting into the nature of the subconscious (I’d need a lot more of an education to do that), the motivation of the subconscious (supposing there is one) has already helped shape the personality, is perhaps shaped by the personality, and thus is an inseparable part of the personality.

I’m not talking about auditory hallucinations, at least not as I understand it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but my impression of auditory hallucinations is that the person having one perceives it as though it came from one or both ears. It sounds as though it’s real, occurring externally in the environment around the person.

When I’ve heard a voice, there has only been one time when I thought I heard it with my ear. I was young, maybe thirteen or fifteen, and it was late at night. I was in the bathroom, just standing there, inspecting my face in the mirror. In my left ear, I heard the aforementioned woman’s voice say my name very calmly. The voice sounded so caring and affectionate, that I wasn’t scared or disturbed by it. If I believed in angels, she was mine.

All of the other voices I’ve heard while awake clearly come from my own mind and do not involve my ears at all.

Voices (and sound effects – Exploding Head Syndrome) that occur in half-sleep are usually louder and clearer, sometimes very loud and alarming.

I’m fortunate so far, and hope that I don’t develop any problems with this as I get older, if my mind deteriorates.

Enactors of Factors

XII. Dimensions of Personality
Eysenck’s methods of measuring personality limited the number of personality types to a relatively small number. Although many traits exist, Eysenck identified only three major types.
A. What Are the Major Personality Factors?
Eysenck’s theory revolves around only three general bipolar types: extraversion/introversion, neuroticism/stability, and psychoticism/superego function. All three have a strong genetic component. Extraverts are characterized by sociability, impulsiveness, jocularity, liveliness, optimism, and quick-wittedness, whereas introverts are quiet, passive, unsociable, careful, reserved, thoughtful, pessimistic, peaceful, sober, and controlled. Eysenck, however, believes that the principal differences between extraverts and introverts is one of cortical arousal level. Neurotic traits include anxiety, hysteria, and obsessive compulsive disorders. Both normal and abnormal individuals may score high on the neuroticism scale
of the Eysenck’s various personality inventories. People who score high on the psychoticism scale are egocentric, cold, nonconforming, aggressive, impulsive, hostile, suspicious, and antisocial. Men tend to score higher than women
on psychoticism.

via Theories of Personality | Chapter Outline

I thought Trump is psychotic, but now I know for sure that it’s true.

So is my dad. They have a lot in common, those two. My dad supported Trump, and if Trump knew about him, he’d support my dad.

Self-justified in any situation, no matter how red-handed you catch them.

Anyway…getting away from two bitter topics for me,

I used to be introverted, but over time and by desire I slowly became more extroverted. Some of the behaviors of born extroverts turn me off, so I’m not fully flipped to the other side of the spectrum. I’m something of a hybrid. Most people, I will assert from personal experience, are somewhere between the two poles.

Neuroticism vs. stability – a good summary is found here:

Neuroticism for Winning

Psychoticism vs. superego – This is, in my barely-informed impression, is a question of unrestrained (psychotic) vs. self-restrained (superego).

superego definition

Let’s Go the Long Way Around

Yesterday my 5-year-old son explained his experience with the piece of gum I’d given him: “I smashed it with my teeth so many times…” He went on to explain that suddenly all of the flavor disappeared. I’m sorry I can’t recall the exact wording of the rest of the sentence. I was too busy being smitten by his long-way-around description of chewing.

That made me think about our use of words, especially the ones with moderate-to-lengthy definitions. “Chew” does not require a long definition to explain. It’s fairly straightforward. But when you don’t use the word and take the long way around an idea, it has the potential of illuminating the way toward other ideas.

The kind of words that I’m talking about are shortcuts. “Jealous” has to be explained. “Vivacious” as well. Furthermore, many words are loaded with nuances. Instead of vivacious, we could say lively, but those two words each have their own subtle differences, their own character, their own “feel”.

When we describe someone’s personality, when we describe our own personality, we use loaded words. When we use these terms in conversation with others, we use these words in order to spend less time to get the idea in the sentence out, keeping the pace of the conversation up, but we make a bargain in the process – these adjectives, adverbs and idioms don’t always provide any shortcut to understanding or, in the case of your own personality, being understood.

What someone else thinks of when they hear you say “anxious” may not be exactly what you mean of when you use the word. So often we have to further describe: Anxious how? Then you end up performing some kind of corrective measure with an explanation of what you mean by “anxious”. Your “shortcut” is no shortcut after all.

We have art for self-expression. Paintings, dances, novels, sculptures, plays, films, poems, etc. Each work of art comes from someone trying to express something. They are taking the long way around. Although some could argue that working with words is the long way around. It could depend on what you’re trying to express.

Back to personalities, telling someone what you see in your own personality may be best served by taking the time to avoid terms that might trigger a mental image or response that you don’t intend. It will require more care before speaking, and a bit more time to finish a thought, but being as close to perfectly understood from the start is far better than having to repair what you said in haste.